Note to golf’s big boy bombers: Stop quaking in your boots. You won’t be facing the Bogeyville Blogger in this year’s RE/MAX World Long Drive Championship in Las Vegas.

A recent viewing of six golf videos, each promising to add from 30 to 50 yards to my tee shots and each failing to produce any measurable results, clinched my decision to stay home. These videos were my way of dialing up long distance information, but as usual I keep getting the wrong number.

I’ve endured a lifetime power outage in golf, but I’ve never stopped searching for that one magic move that will produce significant extra yards.

But these videos--The Rocket Shot, Explosive Power, Bombin’ It Long, Ultimate Distance Secrets, Unleashed Power and 4 Keys to Maximize Your Power--didn’t unlock any secrets.

Let me see, in my world of weird math, six videos times a minimum of 30 extra yards per video, plus my normal 220-yard tee shots, should equal drives of at least 400 yards. Of course, my fuzzy-minded math doesn’t compute so I will leave the heavy hitting to the big boys.

It’s best for all concerned. We’re definitely different breeds and move at different speeds. Their swings are faster than Ferraris, and mine is more like a 1960 Volkswagen Beetle coughing up engine blood.

And, frankly, these long drive monsters intimidate a scrawny guy like me. They all look like they’re about 6-5, 250 pounds with arms like Hulk Hogan (FYI, the Hulkster is no relation to that other Hogan dude, Ben). Me? About 155 pounds with twiggy-type arms.

They also make these loud guttural growls that wake the dead when they smash their drives four football fields long. I don’t make any noise when I nudge my patty cake drives, but I’m afraid if I did, it would sound like one of those annoying Maria Sharapova high-pitched squeals on the tennis court.

So relax, boys. Unless a Pray for Power Miracle Network somewhere out there answers my call, I’m leaving Las Vegas to you.



01/22/2017 10:10pm

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06/10/2017 9:35pm

Laundry day is actually my kind of day. I just don't really get everyone when they always skip their laundry day because they despise doing their laundry by themselves. The feeling of getting rid with all of the dirt from your clothes feels so satisfying for me. I may sound like a weird person right now, but don't you just love having a clean and hygienic clothes? Who doesn't even like wearing fresh clothes every time? I think, I consider myself as a very hygienic person that loves to clean every single thing she owns.

02/06/2017 6:41pm

Golf videos bore me to death. I want live action. I would rather join than be contented watching. I am surprised how it got real audience. I would always tell anyone interested to avoid being lazy. They need to practice for a lifetime. Things can get rusty if they don't. If they are like me who is never contented just being a spectator then they should work hard to be one of the best.

02/07/2017 4:37am

I've never been to Las Vegas. I am sure that you are impressed with this city.


I guess it was a great adventure for you. I want to visit Las Vegas this year. It will be awesome for me.

04/24/2017 3:10am

Can I watch that videos somewhere? Can you help me to find them?

04/27/2017 7:04pm

We need more info about this issue, hope you give some additional updates. Thanks!

05/03/2017 5:03am

Thanks for your comment. We're really glad this content was useful and hope you will check back with us to read future articles!

07/14/2017 6:17am

Please do not leave las vegas

07/16/2017 11:48pm


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